meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:

gg3095:

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:

December 21st 2012.

The sky is black. I hear screams outside. I look through the window. It is raining Oreos. The Aztec predicted it. Their calendar depicted a giant Oreo. The 2012 conspiracy theorists stare outside in shock. They should have known. This was what the Mayans predicted. They did plan for leap years.

Oreos continue to descend from the sky. It’s been days. They keep falling. Everything is Oreos. This is not the white Christmas you were dreaming of.

Harold Camping stands on his roof screaming, “repent! Repent! Jesus! Take me, father, I am ready,” an Oreo hits him in the head. He collapses. Harold Camping is buried in Oreos. There are so many Oreos. Why are there so many Oreos?

People take shelter in their homes for days. Eventually, people starve or their windows break and Oreos come flooding in. The last ones left suffocate in Oreos.

The Cookie Monster appears in the sky. It turns out every religion was wrong. The Cookie Monster is the one true God. His googly eyes wiggle. He screams, “C IS FOR COOKIE, THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.” Cole Sprouse is resurrected. He high fives Cookie Monster and says, “S is for sociology.” All goes dark. There was no meaning to life. C is for cookie.

I give you a hamburger

image

Why I hate icebreakers

  • teacher:

    "Okay, lets go around the room."

  • teacher:

    "State your name a two things you like, it'll be fun!"

  • me:

    "Hi, I'm Haley and two things I like are..."

  • brain:

    teeth and blood

  • brain:

    guys in drag and johnlock

  • brain:

    reading explicit stories on the internet and blogging about them

  • brain:

    everything gay and avoiding responsibility

  • me:

    "Sleeping and..."

  • brain:

    trans* people

  • brain:

    listening to explicit podfics on the bus

  • brain:

    lusting after middle aged British actors

  • me:

    "and eating. Yup. Sleeping and eating."

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